Eliminated in Hour 1, Leg 11: Bowling Moms. The 4th Place Curse is still undefeated, as a popular team gets the [BOMP!] on the last elimination leg.

Winners in Hour 2, Leg 12: Chip and Kim – and yes, there was much screaming. My throat hurts.

2nd: Colin and Christy – MUCH more satisfying than third place, as far as I’m concerned. Karma, baby. Sweet karma, ass.

3rd: Brandon and Nicole, who were first to the last Pit Stop, last to the Finish Line. God? Needs a little more hot water and some bath salts, please.

What happened: A flight delay and a bad decision to check baggage, committing Brandon and Nicole and also TexAss to the later flight on American. Chip and Kim had found out about a flight delay hours before the other teams and confirmed themselves on a later flight. The others didn’t find out until they strolled in all confident-like into the Calgary airport, and were thus begging for standby on Chip and Kim’s flight.

One poster on TWOP pointed out quite rightly that Chip and Kim’s great flight resulted from their laggard performance on the mountain, which put them at the airport much later than the other teams. Thus, they found out about the delay and adapted their plans. Just as in the first episode, the slow, lagging teams got on the best flight.

The Chipsters II struggled to get through a puzzle -and-navigating task at the Dallas Stockyards – always a problem for them, navigating. They’re not dumb, but they’re impulsive and tend to charge before thinking. In spite of a lack of a logical attack to the maze (such as Colin and Christie’s whispered “left, left, left” directly to the first piece of the puzzle) the Chip/Kim team somehow managed to keep their lead through traffic to the finish line.

Colin and Christie had an awesome idea – they pre-booked a Town Car and a fast, fast driver named Earl that they used for the whole race once arriving in Dallas. Alas, even Earl couldn’t make up enough time, even driving on the shoulder.

Dammit, where’s a cop when you need him? Thank goodness, it wasn’t enough for them to make up the distance between.

Brandon and Nic never had a chance, they floundered around looking for a cab – they asked the first one “How fast can you go?” and he answered like a shot: “Slow.” Hee! Next cab in line, please!

Best faith-based edit of the night: Brandon pleads “Help me, Lord.” Jump cut to patch of blue sky shining through clouds, but the Lord is silent, for She is in the Tub.

IN THE TUB! Awk Awk! Awk Awk! (doing the Brandon Booty Dance)

Dammit. That reminds me, where the hell is my T-shirt? I earned it tonight! Awk Awk!

Oh – and I just remembered my favorite Stupid Racer Caught On Camera Shot:

Brandon looking through the binoculars for the country flags in the Philippines with one lens cap on, one lens cap off, and the editors cut to a filter shot as if through the single lens, with the flag visible on the left in a round view, and the left is completely black. BWAH!!!

Brandon is really sweet, and really a big ol’ loveable doofus. Heh.

This is much, much, MUCH better than the finale of TAR3, when horrible screeching FLO was dragged around the world whining and crying and quitting all the way, then through my former home city of Seattle to the finish line, while my beloved Oh, Brother team couldn’t find their way around in MY OLD NEIGHBORHOOD. GOD, that was awful. And last seaon, with Chip and Reichen, was good, but would have been better with my beloved Clowns and Chicago ATC in the final 3.

But this? This is sweet. And good. I’m happy with this. I would have been horrified if Colin and Christie had won.

Karma. Shhhhhhhaaaaa-weet.

GOD. I love you. May I scrub out Your Tub?