Monthly Archives: November 2009

Shared Links November 21st – November 25th

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Best Call Ever

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I had it yesterday – a client called in by cell from a large commercial ship to arrange a change to his return as it was about to arrive in port. It was a windy day, and it was hard to hear him. Suddenly, the ship’s horn blasted in my ear repeatedly, a hugely oppressive honking noise like “WHORNK! WHORNK! WHORNK! WHOOOOOOOOOORNK!“

It was impossible to hear, as it went off 10 or 15 times. After making sure he was okay and not under some kind of attack or in a raging fire, we just laughed until it was finished. He kept making funny “Augh!! Aaaaiyeee” noises the whole time, and when it was finally quiet he said, sounding as if he was being tactful for my delicate feminine sensibilities,  “You have no idea just how bad that nearly was, ma’am, I was crouched down to get out of the wind, right under the horn when it went off.” I tried to go on with the “business” but could not resist saying mischievously, “…do you need to get a mop?”

This busted him up again, and he explained that he had been on all fours, trying to keep talking but also trying to crawl away from the terrible noise, and that he’s “not a small guy, over 6 feet.”  He was so overwhelmed,  he said, that he instinctively cowered down as if he was being assaulted, and he really thought it was “doing things” to his insides. And that he was trying to crawl like a dog to get away from the noisy monster, because standing up and bringing his head even closer to the terrible noise was unthinkable.

Come to think of it, he was crawling on all threes, because he had me on the cell the whole time, although the racket made the phone mic cut out repeatedly.  I pictured him hopping like a gut-shot frog.

At this point I was laughing so hard that I had the silent hysterics – the kind where you’re laughing so hard that no sound comes out at all (which is really better for all concerned, since I usually have a really loud, raucous laugh).

And then he said, “Oh, I hope there wasn’t a camera… uh oh, the guys up on the bridge are laughing at me, they watched the whole thing on the security camera.”

I tend to think that this was the real reason the horn blew so enthusiastically; the bridge crew saw he was in perfect position for a classic prank, and they had to blow it anyway because they were about to dock.

“[Client name], I said, “prepare to be YouTubed.”

It was at least a minute longer before either of us could stop laughing so that we could finish up his change. Actually, I was able to go on because I already knew what he needed, but he was totally helpless.

When I recounted the call later for my work buddy Donna, complete with “whornk whornk whornk” sound effects, she laughed so hard she started a coughing fit, and had get out her asthma inhaler.

And then I realized that not only might I get a really, epically bad technical score on that call, as in “your calls may be monitored for quality control purposes,” we could get my supervisor to pull it up so we could ALL enjoy it again and again.

If I’m going to go out for having bad call monitors, I’m going to go out BIG.

Shared Links November 16th – November 19th

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Uh, No

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I totally disagree that “less frequent mammograms” is an idea that’s good for women’s health. I’m just sayin.’

An influential government advisory group has issued new guidelines recommending that women have a mammogram every two years instead of annually between the ages of 50 and 74.

Shared Links November 14th – November 15th

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Years Too Late For Some

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A young cousin of mine died years ago from complications stemming from cystic fibrosis – he didn’t make it to legal age, if I recall. I’m glad there’s a new treatment, sad that it’s too late for so many.

Drug could stop mucus production in cystic fibrosis sufferers – Salt Lake Tribune

What is cystic fibrosis? » Cystic fibrosis is a genetic condition that causes cells to improperly manufacture a protein. The flawed protein results in the production of a thick, sticky mucus.

The mucus clogs and damages lungs and breaks down ducts in the pancreas, causing digestion problems.

It also coats the inside of the lungs, collecting bacteria that a healthy lung would expel. That leads to infection and triggers the immune system.

“Unfortunately, the immune cells’ weapons [against the bacteria] are just as lethal against human cells,” Liou said. “Most of the harm done to the lungs is actually collateral damage.”

That means many people with cystic fibrosis progress from difficulty walking up stairs to using oxygen and a wheelchair.

There are different genetic mutations that cause cystic fibrosis. The trial for VX-770 focuses on a mutation that affects only about 2 percent of people. Researchers hope they can adapt the drug to work for a much wider population.

If the drug stops cells from producing mucus, it won’t reverse any existing lung damage. But for those with minimal damage — younger patients, or those with milder cases — the drug could provide the closest thing to a cure.

Now Reading

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Soulless, by Gail Carriger, is a fun vampire/werewolf/steampunk romp. Well done, Miss Carriger; might we have some more treacle tart?

Soulless (The Parasol Protectorate) is the first in a new series, and hooray! it’s a lot of fun from the very first page. It turns some of the conventions of vampiric literature all topsy-turvy, and it’s set in Victorian England, with all the attention to society gamesmanship, well-crafted fashions, and steam-powered gadgetry that such a setting entails.

Miss Alexia Tarabotti is my favorite kind of heroine; she’s not conventionally (or tediously) pretty, she has a mind of her own and speaks it, and she’s got a chip on her shoulder when it comes to her complete soullessness. As it turns out, she’s impervious to supernatural attacks and in fact can neutralize a vampire or werewolf simply by touching them, and is a registered preternatural. Intriguingly, she’s found it necessary to arm herself with a parasol of some heft, as it’s the only socially acceptable weapon-like object a young, healthy woman could have with her in public. She must have some interesting social interactions after dark to warrant arming herself.

She may lack a soul, and therefore natural morality, but she’s substituted a code of her own, taken from her wide reading. Although she’s attractive in some ways, she’s been told all her life that she’ll never be “on the market” for marriage, and is thus both “on the shelf” and a spinster, who has nothing to do but chaperone her younger step-sisters to society events and balls.

It’s at one of these balls that she encounters a rather stupid and badly informed vampire, and she is quickly caught up in a world of supernatural intrigue after her improvised defense with a sharpened wooden hair-stick puts paid to the hapless creature’s shabby account. And all because she was in search of tea, and a treacle tart, in the library – but scandal is averted when agents of Her Majesty’s Bureau of Unnatural Registry arrive to sort it all out. She admits eventually to one of these operatives, a rather grumpy werewolf with political connections, that she would simply like something useful to do.

An interesting aspect of the book is that vampires and werewolves are an accepted part of society, with very strict rules of decorum. Less appetizing aspects of their kind’s behavior are normally handled with discretion; werewolves don’t transform in full view of normal humans, and vampires may resort to a kind of sanguinary prostitution rather than simply attack strangers on the street without a proper introduction.

The dialogue crackles, and the story cracks on; I’ll be finished later tonight, darn it!

The next book in the series will be coming out soon – Changeless – but beware that there could be spoilers in the cover art and blurb for the first book if you click through to the link.

It can’t come out soon enough, if you ask me.