It’s unclear if this Dilbert comic is about the inevitable arc of optimism-to-disillusionment in project managment, or if it’s about the elections. Or more likely, both. Either way, we’re frelled unless we break the pattern.
On Monday November 3rd, NPR did a carefully worded interview with a book author as background on an upcoming Supreme Court case on something called “transitory vulgarity,” or the use of a naughty word on live broadcasts, and whether broadcasters should be fined if a celebrity occasionally drops the “F-bomb” in an unscripted moment of emotionally charged candor.
The Supreme Court will hear arguments Tuesday about the F-word. The case, FCC v. FOX TV, stems from some stunning moments of live television. Jesse Sheidlower, editor at large of the Oxford English Dictionary, and author of The F-Word, says the F-word has ceased being used exclusively in reference to sex.
To avoid repetition and to avoid promoting the book by its title, host Robert Siegel suggests substituting another word… “floss.” The discussion goes on, with only a few slips and use of the “F-word” euphemism. The word “floss” is conjugated in various ways. This was amusing in itself, and resulted in a number of listener letters and emails a few days later. But Tuesday night it resulted in some hilarious moments as we gathered with friends to eat and watch the election returns together.
It started when one of the other guests at the party commented out of the blue, “I will never be able to look my dentist in the eye again. I just won’t be able to keep a straight face when he talks about floss.”
She got an immediate laugh; apparently a lot of the others were fellow NPR/WBEZ listeners. I quipped, in a suitably chiding dental assistant’s voice, “Have you been FLOSSING regularly?”
Hilarity ensued. Various highly improper suggestions, having nothing to do with dental hygiene, were offered in quick succession by everyone in that part of the room:
“Do you floss morning and night?”
“Do you floss at work?”
“Here is some complimentary floss and mouthwash.”
“Flossing is important for dental health AND it’s good for your heart!”
“Would you prefer a minty fresh floss, or a waxed one?”
For a few minutes, about 6 people waxed hysterical about floss. And then when we tried to explain it to someone who hadn’t heard the piece, it fell flat. So listen to the piece on the NPR.org website, and then see if you can keep a straight face at the dentist when they offer to floss you.
This is my revamped desk setup: the keyboard is a flatter Dell one that fits in the slideout tray under the top. The Microsoft Natural one is too high to fit unless bad things happen to the underhang with a power tool. Note “Wait, Wait! Don’t Tell Me!” pledge swag mug to the right.
Oh boy! the WWDTM folks are in Boston, and their guest is Barney Franks. He got a huge welcome from his socialist-partisan fans. Aw, he’s telling a cute story about his boyfriend, Jimmy. And how it somehow relates to Bush, Palin, and Franks’ Secret Service nickname, “Sabretooth.” Which is totally cool, because one of MY names for myself is “SABRE2th Tigress!” Go me!!
I can has iPhone
Oh, yeah! PvPonline! I used to read the strip a lot more consistently. I should try and get that set up in Google Reader, I had it when I was reading via Bloglines.
This reminds me of a wacky experience we had at our favorite sushi-teppanyaki joint, Kampai (which is conveniently located close to O’Hare, visitors stranded at the airport!). They have a very large location, with the floaty-boat sushi bar at the left hand end (with its own entrance) and the steakhouse/”hibachi place” restaurant at the right hand. They actually had two full-size dining rooms on the main restaurant side, one of which has now been converted over to a more expensive “Asian Fusion” style restaurant. But about 3 or 4 years ago, my husband David and I managed to eat in both dining rooms in the same evening.
Our friend Steve wasn’t with us for this memorable dining experience; it’s kind of become legendary in the telling and re-telling in our small circle of friends and it’s hard to separate fact from embroidery. But the gist was this: we decided to eat on the steakhouse side and were seated in due course. The restaurant had just done a big remodel on that end of the eatery, and it was all freshly redecorated and repainted, with fancy new fans over each cooking surface to deal with all the smoke and vapors that result from doing stir-fry on big, flat, hot cooktops. There were even silk flowers wound around the brand-new fire retardant-spraying nozzles situated at each corner of each table-sized griddle – and there were probably 8 or more full-size tables in the main room, each seating 8 people.
All the tables were full that night, with chefs cutting and slicing and making salt shakers go clackety-clackety, and doing the flaming volcano/smoking choo-choo trick. They were clearly competing with each other, showing off to see who could get their volcanoes to flame up higher and higher. And that’s where the problem lay, because they weren’t used to the new smoke units. Just because they were actually “hoodless,” without a low-hanging flange around the fans, didn’t mean that the fire-detection sensors were thus farther away from the surface of the cooktops. No, the new units must have been more sensitive, to make up for the increased distance between the peak of each Onion Volcano and the intake grille of the smoke fan.
Fwoosh! Fwoosh! The crowd was loving it at each table as the flames reached eyebrow-endangering heights. Several tables were at roughly the same point in the meal, so there was some serious competition, and the guests were egging them on with shouts, laughter, and yes, people overdoing the jocularity and making with the “woo-woo!”
Which is when the fire alarm went off.
And then the fire-retardant foam sprayed out of the delicately flowered nozzles from the table at Ground Zero, and from several of the other nearby tables around it. It went all over partially sliced, diced, grilled food, including some sad little Onion Volcanoes. And all over the unfortunate chefs, and their guests. Oh, calamity!
We were a couple of tables away, toward the door, so our foam-nozzles never went off, and we were just going through the “fried rice” part where the chef does the tricks with the egg on his spatula.
Everything stopped and we waited to see what would happen next. Nobody ran for the exits or anything, there was just this crowd sound that was a combination of dismay (people whose food and clothing got doused) and hilarity (people whose food and clothing were unscathed).
The fire department came, made us move outside for formality’s sake (it was darn cold) and then waved us back in when they determined there was no fire, once the smoke cleared.
The amazing thing was that the restaurant had enough room in the secondary dining room (which they used for overflow or catered parties, I guess) for everyone to pick up their drinks and move in (although the heat wasn’t turned up and it was really cold at first). The crew brought out fresh set-ups for everybody’s dinner orders and within about 10 or 15 minutes of moving over, the chefs were starting everybody’s dinners. Everyone got free drinks in the meantime. The manager, rather than tearing his hair out and firing the flamebug(s) on the spot, remained calm and philosophical, even laughing at the absurdity of his situation, as he had a huge mess to deal with in his brand-new main dining room. It was all very organized and there was very little chaos.
Everyone left smiling and talking about the experience, and I’m sure lots of people told their friends about how the new dining room at Kampai got… “seasoned.” So they probably made up for it within a week or so. And every time we go back, we make with the “woo-woo” and watch to see how high the volcano flames go.
Listen to the hilarious call here. EPIC FAIL. Grandpa McCain isn’t going to be happy about this one.
Their website must be getting slammed because it isn’t loading for some. Here is the YouTube
[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/QbEwKcs-7Hc" width="425" height="344" wmode="transparent" /]
Oh my God!! This is indeed EPIC… at first Palin is falling all over herself thanking him for taking a few minutes to call her, and he drops names of well-known Canadian entertainers, catching her out on not knowing the names of the real French and Canadian dignitaries they “replaced.”
Throughout the conversation, Audette drops plenty of clues that something’s amiss.
He identifies French singer and actor Johnny Hallyday as his special adviser to the U.S., singer Stef Carse as Canada’s prime minister and Quebec comedian and radio host Richard Z. Sirois as the provincial premier.
Early in the conversation, the fake Sarkozy tells Palin one of his favourite pastimes is hunting.
“We should go hunting together,” she offers. “We can have a lot of fun together while we’re getting work done. We could kill two birds with one stone.”
Audette then jokes that they shouldn’t bring Cheney on the hunt, referring to the 2006 incident in which the vice-president shot-and-injured a friend while hunting quail.
“I’ll be a careful shot,” responds Palin, who praises Sarkozy throughout the call. — Canoe, “Palin talks hunting, politics in prank call…“
Palin fakes admirably and fails irrevocably, trying to not let on that she has absolutely no clue who the people are that “Sarkozy” is raving about. She doesn’t even drop to it when “M. le President” notes that he can see Belgium from his ass. Sarah laughs uncomfortably, perhaps not wishing to embarrass the gentleman over his poor command of English idioms. Too bad Palin’s never bothered to glance in the direction of Canada from her bathroom window, or bone up on the name of its premier.
UPDATE: Okay, he may have said “from his ‘ouse” in his strong Quebecois accent, but it sounded like “ass,” same as what he made of Palin.
You get the impression that Sarah is listening for those dog-whistle phrases to which she knows the answers. She knows enough about Sarkozy to gush about his beautiful wife and family. And finally she is told she’s been pranked by the Masked Avengers comedy radio duo from Quebec. The background discussion between Palin and at least two aides after she repeats aloud “Ohhhh, we’ve been pranked… what radio station?” is worth the toe-curling agony of listening to Palin. At the very beginning, she can’t even take the call with aplomb, starting to talk to the prankster who’s playing the part of the aide to the French President. She bobbles her greeting and then hands the phone back to her aide, saying “I always do that!” before getting back on and saying “Hel-LO” to the fake French leader just like she did to the “aide.”
Funny stuff. I doubt they’ll have much success with Obama’s people.
Bucky the hyper-reactionary Siamese cat upbraids his monkey Rob for speaking pig Latin. The object is tot get Satchel to ide-hay the ball of ing-stray, but naturally it goes somewhat a-stray.
After all the serious imagery, today’s Get Fuzzy
was a welcome relief.
First off, the folks at Conservapedia seem mighty obsessed with hot! gay! Sex!, which sets up this most excellent quip:
Q: How many Republican politicians can you fit in the closet?
A: Evidently, all of them.
h/t to Â» Conservapedia: Still Obsessed Â» The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century : Joey deVillaâ€™s Personal Blog.
Hotel workers were sent to Jorgensen’s room to ask him to stop demanding prostitutes. When they arrived at his room, Jorgensen answered the door in the nude, human resources director Tim Donovan said.Jorgensen was fired the next day.
At the hearing, Jorgensen said his actions didn’t hurt the casino, and he said he’d received strong performance reviews. He also blamed the restaurant for serving him too much alcohol.
“I was absolutely plowed,” he said.
Administrative Law Judge Terence Nice turned down Jorgensen’s claim for unemployment benefits.
It’s never your fault when you demand paid nookie on the company’s dime, is it?
Hell yes, I would buy one, Basil!Â As seen at BoingBoing