Fun with Find and Replace

After reading Joey’s inaugural Excited States post, I ran across something in David Beard’s Archaeology in Europe blog that got me started thinking about Neanderthals, mice, FOX News reporters, and Democratic Congresspersons.

Fooling around with “find and replace” in Wordpad is childish good fun.

Neanderthals had key speech gene, researchers say | The Register
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/10/19/neanderthal_speech/

FOX News reporters may have a reputation in popular culture as a lumbering, grunting people, but researchers have discovered that they did have a gene thought to play a key role in speech.

Samples of DNA were retrieved from two FOX News reporter fossils found in a cave in northern Spain. Careful examination revealed that the pair both had the FOXP2 gene. The human version of this gene is different from the chimp version in two places, leading scientists to speculate that these changes are responsible for our ability to speak. The FOX News reporters both had the human version.

The findings push back the emergence of a particular gene in the human family tree by some 300,000 years, to the time when the FOX News reporters and modern human populations diverged. Previously, the gene was thought to have swept through the modern human population just 50,000 years ago.

But their being capable of speech doesn’t prove that we would have been able to sit down with the “evolutionarily challenged journalists” and have a natter over a cup of tea (proving that our evolutionary cousins could speak is pretty much impossible, given the absence of contemporary sound recording equipment).

However, Svante Paabo, a biologist at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology who extracted the critical parts of the gene, told the New York Times: “There is no reason to think FOX News reporters couldn’t speak like humans with respect to FOXP2, but obviously there are many other genes involved in language and speech.”

To work out exactly what changes might be wrought in a brain with the human version of FOXP2, the researchers have turned to Democratic Congresspersons.

Dr Paabo has grown a batch of Democratic Congresspersons whose FOXP2 genes have been replaced with the human version, and says that although their behaviour is unchanged “there seems to be a change in vocalisation. They squeak in a different way”. The Democratic Congresspersons also have extra connections in their brains.

Speaking of evolutionarily challenged journalists, local furniture and decor store Smithe ripped off the whole “modern Neanderthals” idea for their most recent ads. The comedy series hasn’t even premiered yet, the idea jumped the shark long ago, and they’re already being used in badly produced, ill-conceived spots for local businesses. Pity the poor cavemen.

Also: what a wonderful and less exciteable country this would be if only we could grow our own Democratic Congresspersons in vats. We could even genetically alter them so they’d have spines and be able to stand on their own hind feet!

[tags]FOX News, Neanderthals, Democratic Congresspersons, mice, funny, Accordion Guy[/tags]

Critical Manners: Less Testosterone, More Courtesy

Critical Manners

Critical Manners: a revolutionary act of courtesy. Come put the nice back in the bike world with Critical Manners! A helmet-wearing, bell-ringing, blinkie-sportin’ good time for you and all your bike friends. Practice synchronized signaling, single file riding, stopping at stop signs and NOT blowing red lights. Critical Manners will brake for pedestrians, trolleys, and even the occasional SUV. If you’ve ridden in Critical Mass, you know about the “testosterone brigade”. Maybe it’s time you rode with Critical Manners — We take obedience of the law ridiculously seriously.

As seen at Accordion Guymy husband David wants the link for an acquaintance.

UPDATE:There’s more on a later post at AG.

Good and Evil

What is good to a liberal is evil to a conservative, and vice versa.

But what is truly good? And what is truly evil? How about a little exercise in compare/contrast?

::Humility, Grace and Freedom by Canon Dr Joe Cassidy::

So here’s what puzzles me: Given all this openness, why can’t we allow or even authorise the Episcopal Church to experiment with including gay lay-people, gay deacons, gay priests and, yes, gay bishops? Why can’t we allow the Episcopal Church to experiment with same-sex/quasi-nuptual blessings? Why can’t we ask the Episcopal Church to undertake, on behalf of the rest of the Church, a ministry of discernment within and alongside the various gay and lesbian communities? Why can’t we enable the Episcopal Church to push their idea of baptismal inclusiveness to the hilt to see whether it enhances holiness? Why can’t we do that? What is the real risk of doing so and what is the real risk of not doing so?In one sense, the answer is obvious: we can’t because many Anglicans in many provinces think the question is closed; others think the timing isn’t right; others think more theological reflection needs to occur before testing things in the field; others, hopefully only a few, write off the whole thing derisively as a pandering to modernity.

I take seriously what the Episcopal Church is trying to do. Unlike some, I do not believe that the Episcopal Church are a bunch of uncritical liberals, glibly and mindlessly embracing contemporary values as if they were obvious Christian values. My own theological and ethical instincts are decidedly conservative on most issues, but I do see the Episcopal Church taking a costly road, which admittedly is capable of jolting the foundations, and which would inevitably cause friction. I cannot but see a serious attempt to act with integrity. And that goes for all sides.

In one sense, I’m not surprised that this is occurring in the US, but I wouldn’t put it down to Episcopalian American liberalism. Rather, in a culture still barely coming to grips with a long and horribly-recent history of slavery, racial segregation, and racism, it should be impossible for the Church not to wonder whether we’re doing it again – only this time to another group identified as different in a different sort of way. That’s not American hubris, but real humility, an awareness of the possibility of grave sin.Because, if there’s any chance whatsoever that we’re doing it yet again, then not to take it seriously, not to take the possibility that we, the Church, might be caught in a long, deep cycle of social sin – well, that’s dangerous to the soul, a real sin of omission, one that can be profoundly destructive to a great many people.

In any event, taking it seriously means testing it, testing the direction the Episcopal Church is moving in to see whether it is ‘of the Lord.’

The entire essay is well written and well reasoned, and and it offers a new perspective that casts a lot more light than heat – a refreshing change from most opinions offered in the current unpleasantness. I’ve highlighted the part that seems to be resonating with a lot of people over at Father Jake’s. This is a considered opinion from a more conservative viewpoint that exercises a lot more intellectual rigor than usually seen from that end of the spectrum.

Compare and contrast with an editorial from a Nigerian news site, that from its tone is strongly pro-government, and is thus pro-Akinola, who carries the anti-gay flag for them.:

Akinola’s Anti-Gay Campaign

It is true that the American society largely runs on a liberal path. Its social ethos is strongly anchored on near laissez-faire attitude. That explains why the American society is very elastic in terms of tolerance of sometimes strange, if not outlandish habits.

However, if the social norms could accommodate such dispositions, the sacred order of religion is supposed to be tempered by some restraint and moderation. But the curious ordination of Jean Robinson, a gay Bishop, a couple of years ago, manifestly proves that not even the sanctity of divine laws espoused by the major religions can tame the wild libertine philosophy of the American society.

Archbishop Peter Akinola, the primate of the Church of Nigeria, (Anglican Communion) has been in the fore of the fight against this weird intrusion into the Christian faith. Just like most parts of the world were shocked with that ordination, Akinola has earned accolades from around the world for his doggedness in condemning the practice; at one point threatening to lead other African countries out of the Anglican fold if the practice of gay ordination continues. Time magazine named him among 100 most influential persons in the world.

It is bad enough that the Episcopal Church in America could condone sodomy in accommodating gay adherents in its fold. Yet, it is worse that even a gay man could be ordained a priest. Even then, that such a gay priest could indeed become a Bishop, a spiritual head of the church is revolting. It is as strange as it is antithetic to biblical stance.

No doubt, the idea of gay-priests and same-sex marriage as practised in American Anglican (Episcopal) Churches and some parts of Europe is a double-barreled affront on the doctrine of chastity and continence as enunciated in the Holy Bible.

Not so rigorous, is it? Not terribly well written, not factually accurate, full of half-truths twisted into non-truths.

Also, not terribly Christian, either. I can’t bring myself to quote the whole thing on my front page, but my gut tells me that this story might disappear from the news site if it causes enough of an uproar, as happened before when Bishop Orama’s words were twisted by another Nigerian reporter.

The Nigerian news services certainly seem to want to beat that big gay drum, because the government wants scapegoats to draw attention away from its many and manifest sins.

The rest of the Nigerian editorial is in the extended entry.
UPDATE: Fooey. The “MORE” tag isn’t working, the whole disreputable thing is here.
Continue reading

ZOMG Colbert Pour Le President Oui Oui

He may actually try to get on the ballot in South Carolina, and he may have a decent shot at a Pat Paulsen-like campaign that serves to highlight the absurdities of the American political process.

He’s going to try to get on both the Democratic and Republican primary ballots.  And apparently, there’s nothing to prevent him in the rules.  Oh, delicious!

He’s a native son of the state, he’s within his rights, and the SC Democrats are okay with it as long as he pays their low-low filing fee of $2500 or gets 3,000 signatures. They’re rather amused by the idea, probably because they’re big fans.

But the humor-impaired Republicans think he’d have more fun if he got a sports car and a girlfriend (they’re always about the red-blooded American heterosexuality, those guys). Also, that bunch of golf-playing carefully coiffed elitists will require a $35,000 filing fee. Philistines.

It wouldn’t be the first time that a bloviating blow-dried photo opportunist was elected President of the United States. Can you imagine the horror, though, if it happened? He’d be forced to drop the comic persona, and the joke would be ruined. Still… run, Stephen! RUN!

Stephen Colbert – Presidential Campaign – TV – New York Times

Stephen Colbert — who announced plans to run for the presidency, though only in South Carolina, on his Comedy Central show Tuesday night — is serious enough about the stunt that his staff reached out to the state’s Democratic and Republican committees in advance of his declaration.

[tags]Stephen Colbert, funny, President[/tags]

Where Is Stephen’s Hat?

Stephen Colbert of the Colbert Report (mind the silent Ts) hijacks Maureen Dowd’s NYT column to note that although his hat is not in the ring, it’s not on his head… and his new book is in stores now.

Also, he ghost-writes Frank Rich’s column too. His work there done.
Actually, if Stephen Colbert ran for office, he should seriously think about an extremely manly religious blogger/Saviour as a running mate: Jesus’ General.

I Am an Op-Ed Columnist (And So Can You!)

By STEPHEN COLBERT

Surprised to see my byline here, aren’t you? I would be too, if I read The New York Times. But I don’t. So I’ll just have to take your word that this was published. Frankly, I prefer emoticons to the written word, and if you disagree 🙁
I’d like to thank Maureen Dowd for permitting/begging me to write her column today. As I type this, she’s watching from an overstuffed divan, petting her prize Abyssinian and sipping a Dirty Cosmotinijito. Which reminds me: Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:

Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.

There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.

So why I am writing Miss Dowd’s column today? Simple. Because I believe the 2008 election, unlike all previous elections, is important. And a lot of Americans feel confused about the current crop of presidential candidates.

a disinclination on the part of the authorities to use any legal process

Former CEO Says U.S. Punished Phone Firm

A former Qwest Communications International executive, appealing a conviction for insider trading, has alleged that the government withdrew opportunities for contracts worth hundreds of millions of dollars after Qwest refused to participate in an unidentified National Security Agency program that the company thought might be illegal.Former chief executive Joseph P. Nacchio, convicted in April of 19 counts of insider trading, said the NSA approached Qwest more than six months before the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, according to court documents unsealed in Denver this week.

Details about the alleged NSA program have been redacted from the documents, but Nacchios lawyer said last year that the NSA had approached the company about participating in a warrantless surveillance program to gather information about Americans phone records.

In the court filings disclosed this week, Nacchio suggests that Qwests refusal to take part in that program led the government to cancel a separate, lucrative contract with the NSA in retribution. He is using the allegation to try to show why his stock sale should not have been considered improper.

Hmm. If true, what a perfect dodge – if the phone company exec refuses to play along, his company loses a very lucrative NSA contract, so sorry – and ends up in a spot of legal bother owing to the enthusiasm the Attorney General’s office showed in investigating troublesome critics and Democrats. He doesn’t play along, he loses a lot of money and goes to jail for “improper” stock manipulation.

The title quote is from the defense attorney’s statement.  The story needs more corroboration, because the redacted bits of evidence are kind of conveniently hard to read.