Where Is Stephen’s Hat?

Stephen Colbert of the Colbert Report (mind the silent Ts) hijacks Maureen Dowd’s NYT column to note that although his hat is not in the ring, it’s not on his head… and his new book is in stores now.

Also, he ghost-writes Frank Rich’s column too. His work there done.
Actually, if Stephen Colbert ran for office, he should seriously think about an extremely manly religious blogger/Saviour as a running mate: Jesus’ General.

I Am an Op-Ed Columnist (And So Can You!)

By STEPHEN COLBERT

Surprised to see my byline here, aren’t you? I would be too, if I read The New York Times. But I don’t. So I’ll just have to take your word that this was published. Frankly, I prefer emoticons to the written word, and if you disagree 🙁
I’d like to thank Maureen Dowd for permitting/begging me to write her column today. As I type this, she’s watching from an overstuffed divan, petting her prize Abyssinian and sipping a Dirty Cosmotinijito. Which reminds me: Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:

Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.

There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.

So why I am writing Miss Dowd’s column today? Simple. Because I believe the 2008 election, unlike all previous elections, is important. And a lot of Americans feel confused about the current crop of presidential candidates.

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