Glenn Beck’s OMGWTFBBQ and My Manifesto

Daily Kos: State of the Nation diarist Hunter spent the day posting updates about yesterday’s wingnut festivities.


[Throughout the day we have been bringing you breaking coverage of today’s ‘We Surround Them’ event, newsperson Glenn Beck’s effort to demonstrate the power of the ultraconservative movement via… um… well, we’re not quite sure. It seems to be based on surrounding the rest of us by meeting at Chili’s?]

CRITICAL EMERGENCY UPDATE — DAILY KOS EXCLUSIVE: Home again now. Home not surrounded. Neighbors seem placid, no surrounding seems imminent. Possible conservative flanking maneuver on 2nd street turned out to be loose dog.

Of course, a conservative talk-radio sponsored function in Utah was a big success. No surprises there.

No word on the turnout in Lafayette, LA, but the mockery in the comments is pretty telling. Also, some pretty sturdy objections to the theocratic posturings of the two “celebrity” event hosts, Beck and “TV’s Chuck Norris.” The martial arts star threw a barbecue at his Texas home, announced his readiness to be President of Texas when they secede, offers himself to serve a Godly republic,  etc. Actual Texans were not that impressed, frankly.

The rest of the country is too cold (and possibly too reality-based) to think about outdoor BBQs yet. So most of the events were held in restaurants and bars that either agreed to change the channel on the TV, or that had function rooms that could be reserved. The regionalism of the OMGWTFBBQ mindset is evident.

Hundreds gathered for a viewing party of Beck’s tearstained special in Asheville, NC.

Portsmouth had an event at a restaurant that was SRO. This supposedly non-partisan concept was hosted by the local Republican party and their supporters.  Newsflash: the GOP lost the election.

Rexburg. Home of BYU-Idaho. Dude, they already surround non-believers there… Almost 400 turned out,  so all three of the non-LDS Democrats stayed home and made escape plans.

The whole thing is based on Beck’s concept of “912: 9 Principles, 12 Values” which are listed here (on a site unlikely to crash, as Beck’s site did yesterday).

Note how carefully worded they are so as to seem “not that crazy.” Some independent-minded people, even self-identified liberals, might not think they are such a bad idea, except for the problem of enthusiastic older ladies forming militias and marching on Washington to overthrow the gubmint.

The 9 principles
1. America is good.

2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.

3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.

4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.
[…except for those whose spouse is Teh Gay, of course. They must be purged.]

5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.

6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.
[Translation: “I have a right to life, liberty, and happiness. You, not so much.”]

7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.
[Translation: I read Ayn Rand in college, which formed my core values as a selfish S.O.B.]

8. It is not “un”-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.
[Translation: …except for liberal traitors who complained post-9/11 about “curtailment of civil rights,” “extrajudicial rendition,” and “illegal war.”]

9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.
[Especially after I threw a big donation their way at that golf junket to Bermuda]

The 12 values
Hard Work
Personal Responsibility

Some of these seem reasonable, some of these are a little suspect. Here’s my take:

Ginny’s 10 Principles For A Better,  Kinder World

1. America (and the world) could be better, if it weren’t for our deep well of stupid preventing progress.
2. Insert creed of your choice here, or quote a moral philosophy, such as “Be kind, rewind.”
3. No change.
4. See 2 above: express importance of family in your own terms. Cherish them and your pets.
5. No change. Cheney better pack a bag for a long stretch Inside.
6. All people should have the right to life, liberty,  clean water, food, and the pursuit of happiness.
7. I work hard for what I have and I am willing to help people who have less than I do.
8. It is the duty of every American to speak out on injustice, while not being a dick about it.
9. No change. Addendum:  all corrupt politicians must be thrown out of office.
10. Science and religion should never be mixed, or bad science and bad religion are the result.

That should do it. The Virtues list is all right as it currently stands, although I might add a few of my own, such as:

Love (the greatest Virtue of all)

Utah Set to Boost Porn Ranking Naturally

The Utah Legislature, after Viagrousvigorous debate, passed a bill enabling naturopaths to prescribe testosterone. Not only is Utah #1 in the nation for paying for porn that Internets-savvy libruls get for free, they’s gonna be naturally manly, tremendously organic men. Must report this to the General

Male-hormone bill clears Senate – Salt Lake Tribune

A bill allowing naturopathic physicians to prescribe testosterone to their male patients cleared its last legislative hurdle Thursday.

After a vigorous debate, HB108 — sponsored by Rep. Douglas Aagard, R-Kaysville, and Sen. Dennis Stowell, R-Parowan — passed the Senate 19-6.

Sen. Margaret Dayton, R-Orem, led the opposition, concerned about where it could lead with naturopathic doctors wanting to prescribe more and more drugs.

“Naturopaths limit themselves to a certain schedule of drugs,” said Dayton, a former nurse married to an obstetrician. “How do they justify expanding that schedule?”

Dayton labeled the bill “another example of groups seeking licensure though legislation rather than education.”

In a moment of levity, Sen. Karen Mayne, D-West Valley City, applauded the testosterone discussion in light of lawmakers spending so much time discussing women’s bodies and minds.

It’s really refreshing for me to sit here and talk about your hormone needs,” Mayne told male colleagues.

Amusing me no end: female Utah Republicans opposing male Utah Republicans, because maybe it’s really about Mother getting a little more actual rest on Family Home Evening.

They Shoot Toilets, Don’t They?

If you live in Centerville, Utah, why yes. Yes, they do:

exploded toilet

Police say a man’s gun fell out of its holster while he pulled up his pants after using the bathroom at a Carl’s Jr. restaurant Tuesday. The gun fired when it hit the floor and shattered the commode.

Sure, hilarious. Man takes dump, holster in dropped trou has a fail, gun shoots crapper, and then you have water and poo and broken porcelain throne all over the floor.

This photo, by the way, is a great perspective shot, and I hope the photographer washed his hands and clothes after he got down on that floor to get it.

Meanwhile, gun sales all over the country are way, way up. So we can expect more dumbasses shooting themselves in the leg or shooting innocent bathroom fixtures because they haven’t quite figured out how to properly pack heat.

Via Man Shoots Toilet – Yahoo! News Photos

I’m Dreaming of A Red Firetruck, With All The Sirens, Horns and Lights

This one is even more woo-woo than usual for Utah:

Saying he wanted to go see his mother for Christmas, a man tried to drive away in a South Salt Lake fire engine, according to police.

The man also is accused of assaulting the firefighters who tried to stop him from stealing the $500,000 vehicle. The episode occurred about 11:30 a.m. Monday.
Via Man tries to steal fire engine to go home for holidays, police say – Salt Lake Tribune

Flatlanders Think A Little Snow Is Tough To Drive In

Chicagoans, please STFU about yesterday’s snowstorm. Try driving in a hilly or mountainous place first.

Example 1: Seattle, where steep hills and the occasional rare but icy snowfall do not make for a fun time driving.

Charter Bus Dangling Over I-5

But their trip home for the holidays nearly turned tragic Friday when two charter buses carrying 80 students slid down a steep ice-covered Seattle street and crashed through a guardrail 20 feet above Interstate 5. The front wheels of one bus ended up dangling over the freeway.

“We were all screaming,” said 16-year-old Alex Hammell of Bothell, who was aboard the second bus. “I thought we were going to die.”

Via Local News | 2 buses skid down slick hill, barely avoid plunge to I-5 | Seattle Times Newspaper

Example 2: Salt Lake City, and the canyons leading up to major ski resorts.

SUV Sideways In Mountain River

Up Big and Little Cottonwood canyons, four-wheel drive and chains were required today. Snow was definitely sticking to the ground, which caused problems for a few drivers going through Big Cottonwood Canyon, especially.

One man overcorrected and slid off the road. A woman coming down the mountain hit an ice patch and slid off into the river. Her tipped SUV was partly submerged in the water, but both the driver and the passenger got out with only scratches.

Via – Drivers have trouble navigating through snow storm

In Utah, this kind of accident is apparently called a “slide-off,” because there’s often an edge or a ditch on one side of the highway, and if you hit an icy patch on a “look, Aunt Nibby, no guardrails” kind of road, you might go for a sudden expedition.

But if you know how to drive in snow, you can get around all right, as long as you avoid the idiots that DON’T know. Basically, SLOW DOWN. Don’t hit the brakes, gently remove your foot from the gas and gently pump the brake pedal several times. Slow to a crawl before turns and take your foot off the gas before carefully turning the wheel. If you start to slide, turn the wheel in the direction of the slide, lightly pumping the brake. Don’t even think about hitting the accelerator until you’re straightened out. Stay in other drivers’ ruts if the road hasn’t been plowed yet.

These next two suggestions aren’t exactly… legal, but in a snowstorm, sometimes, you have to do what you must to get to shelter, or to the grocery store, or to the airport to pick up a stranded friend.

If driving up a hill, keep forward momentum at all costs. Maintain all deliberate speed. If there’s no traffic at a cross street on an uphill, check for cops, say “Snow Rules” firmly to yourself, and continue through the intersection. If there’s a big pile of snow (thrown off by a plow, perhaps) at a corner and you’re turning, check for traffic and cops, mutter “Snow Rules” again, and SLOWLY make the turn without stopping. If you stop in a pile like that, you’ll never get going unless you’ve got a high-clearance, 4WD or AWD vehicle. And even that’s iffy if you gun the engine and spin your wheels. Remember – GENTLY on the gas.

If you’re driving down a hill, your car has just been entered in the All-City Luge competition. Alternatively, look for a route down that angles across the slope of the hill – a more roundabout street that takes the scenic route is going to be easier to negotiate than going straight down. In Seattle, they used to just close the steepest streets and make people take the long way, but some idiot always had to show off his new Jeep. Inevitably, they wound up at the bottom of Queen Anne Hill with their pictures in the neighborhood paper.

However, if you live in a hilly city like Portland, and your neighborhood has been laminated with an inch or so of solid ice and then taken a hit of dry, powdery snow, you’re fucked. Quit thinking about going anywhere; cities that “never get snow” like Portland and Seattle don’t have salt trucks, sand trucks, or even snow plows. You’re screwed, so you’d better grab your video camera and get to a good vantage point. You might get a good price for the footage on the evening news.

[kml_flashembed movie="" width="425" height="344" wmode="transparent" /]

The title of this video is a misnomer: it’s “Portland drivers in the snow” but really what’s happening is there’s a very smooth layer of ice under a light dusting of powder. I used to live in Oregon and this kind of ice storm was not uncommon; I once drove through the Portland suburbs after my flight to Eugene was rerouted there. My friend Debbie and I ended up in a carload of other college students, being driven to Eugene in exchange for gas money and body weight (ourselves and our luggage made the driver’s car more manageable because it was heavier). On the way, we inched up a hill without stopping, going around other cars that stopped dutifully at stoplights that had gotten hopelessly stuck. The driver kept calling out “Snow rules!” and maintained forward motion no matter what. We kept an eye out for other people, cars, cops, and other obstructions.

We watched helplessly as an old man, walking back from the grocery store, fell on the ice and his entire bag of oranges rolled down the hill. We couldn’t stop, or we’d have gotten stuck.

About 5 hours later, we made it back to Eugene, which was covered with about 2 inches of ice. That kind of storm seemed to come about every other year or so; we’re lucky we haven’t gotten anything like that in Chicagoland since I moved here.

Yesterday, driving to work was really no problem. I had the new snow boots, I had all kinds of winter gear, and I got an early start. Fortunately, there weren’t many other people on the road, and the few that were out and about seemed to know how to drive prudently. I made it in about half an hour early. The whole rest of the day, people were whining about how bad it was. Granted, I don’t live that far away, but still: STFU! It could be worse, you could live someplace that isn’t flat!

Blogyear In Review

While putting off the task of adding a personal note to holiday cards that MUST! GO! OUT!, I decided to review My Year In Blogging.


Today, at Holy Moly, we had some excitement too. I ended up staying for both services just because there was a rehearsal for the big day after the second service. There was lots of laughter, a little girl threw up in front of the choir, Pat Kalicki stood in for Bishop Katharine in the run-through wearing a paper bishop’s mitre, and there was lots of chaos and general anarchy.

Later on in February, Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts-Schori visited Holy Moly. A good time was had by all and sundry.

Via My Week: Cold, Busy, Cold, Busy, Cold


One of the blessings of a “mixed” family heritage is that you get to eat comfort foods from more than one buffet line. Case in point: yesterday’s family confab and lunch nosh, which was held at Max’s Delicatessen in Skokie.

I knew going in that on a bitterly cold day, fighting a “bug” and trying not to cough too much, I needed lots of chicken soup, STAT. Probably with kreplach (dumplings) or matzoh balls (actually, one ginormous matzoh ball). But I’d never seen anything like the menu item under the various listings for chicken soup extras – underneath all of them, it said “Mish-Mosh Chicken Soup.” It was a lot more expensive, and my rudimentary knowledge of Yiddish told me it was a mixture or a little of everything. Good enough, and then I saw that the 1/2 soup, 1/2 sandwich option for lox and a toasted bagel included a note: “$3.50 extra for Mish-Mosh.”

Sold. I ordered. The waitress asked “Nova, or regular?” and I knew to answer “regular” because Nova Scotia lox is more expensive. David ordered mish-mosh for his half-and-half, too. My nephew Josh chuckled “Mish-mosh, it’s brutal.”

Presently, a tremendous bowl arrived, with all kinds of stuff sticking out of it. A giant matzoh, made with dill weed. A couple of kreplach, including some broken ones. A bunch of little bitty thin, flat noodles like the kind that come in Lipton’s dried onion soup mix, but longer and curlier. A ladlefull of rice. And finally, a whole bunch of loose crumbled corned beef, that must have falled out of yet more unseen broken kreplach.

Oh, man, was it good.

The lox and bagel arrived after a few minutes’ work on the soup. It was a disappointment, with two thin strips of lox, barely enough to put on each half of toasted bagel. I’m used to sandwich places that give you FOUR strips and CAPERS, but no. And the onions were the super-hot kind, not the mild sweet kind that goes better with smoked salmon and any kind of plain or savory cream cheese (I had plain).

But the soup more than made up for this deficiency of lox. I finished most of the solid stuff out of it and didn’t leave much liquid behind, either. MMM, yummy.

After we’d all mostly finished eating, the announcement to the family was made. Somebody will be going through chemo after surgery again. This was a surprise to a couple of people, and just at that moment, all kinds of service people descended on the table offering bills, more coffee, more new pickles, and offering to box up uneaten food. Argh! Go away! But it was the most convenient place to meet the busiest subset of the family, so that’s where we were instead of at one of our homes.

So we listened, and we pondered, and we offered help and casseroles, and expressed hope and love and support.

My mom-in-law Leah came through with flying colors and again sports a full head of hair. YAAAY!

Via Mish-Mosh of the Soul


My husband David and I – as he noted on his blog – were finally seduced by the Light Side, the Forces of Brightness, the White Lord of the Pith, the Core of All Good, etc. etc. We both got iPhones as we’d previously warned.

Stupidly, we went to Woodfield Mall yesterday, rather than driving to the brand new AT&T store on Algonquin in Rolling Meadows, which as of March 17th had 16G iPhones. The Apple store was out of the 16G’s and didn’t expect to get any for some time, so we shrugged and said “Okay, we’ll take the 8G phones, we won’t need the extra capacity, it was just a thought.”

We may yet have cause to regret this impetuousity.

Plus, this timely link:

You can have my iPhone… when you pry it from my cold, arthritic, obsessively clutching fingers.

Via We Drank The Kool-Aid


Wow. I still can’t believe that I had a chance to see the McDades at the Abbey Pub, a well known Chicago institution. And that my husband David and I got to see them gratis, a fact that makes me absurdly grateful and humble. Hell, this blogging gig is pretty cool if people contact you out of the blue and give you free stuff and invite you to all the best parties.

Okay, enough about that, I’m a mere amoeba on the Great Evolutionary Chain of Blogging Being.

The thing I REALLY can’t believe that there were only about 10 people at the show. I feel bad about this, because that means that at least 20% of the crowd was there for free. So the next day, I went to the The McDades – Music website and bought their latest CD, Bloom. No, I could have downloaded it from iTunes for less, or I could have gone to Borders and rooted around in the Celtic/World Music bins until I found it, but no. I freaking felt compelled to pay Canadian funds and Canadian shipping, because I felt terrible for the band and for their mom, who was nice enough to contact me in the first place.

Via The McDades at the Abbey Pub 22APR08


A selection of photos from our trip to Maine and Washington DC

I Heart Maine

Can I just say, I “heart” Maine?


This looks like a nice place to stay, right?

Well, not exactly:


It’s probably a bitch to get to in the winter, but you’d never have to worry about sightseeing rubberneckers trying to poke their noses into your business.


Or maybe not.


Local color, to better lure the tourists into the restaurant

After some more wandering, we decided to give Hyannisport a complete miss and found our way to a beautifully serene nature preserve dedicated to Rachel Carson, author of Silent Spring.


It was a nice walk in the woods, very quiet.


Boothbay Harbor at sunset

Via The East Coast Trip Part I


Perhaps the most telling endorsement of Obama is something I just heard an NPR “In Character” piece on Mr. Spock, the Classic Star Trek character played by Leonard Nimoy. After a discussion of Spock’s intriguing hidden qualities and his half-human, half-Vulcan heritage and how that translates to contemporary issues, we find out that Nimoy is an Obama supporter, too.

Actually, I bet someone’s already done a parody of the candidates as Star Trek characters. McCain would have to be late-stage Kirk, perhaps from one of the odd-numbered movies. Although I’m also tempted to see him as Commodore Matthew Decker…

Ron Paul might make a good lesser commander, probably one of the insane ones with fanatical followers, like Capt. Ron Tracey.

Hillary Clinton? the best she could hope for is as a wannabe Janeway, in my opinion. She runs the ship, but doesn’t really get anywhere, is literally tossed around the galaxy by events beyond her control, is in permanent damage control mode, and everybody is relieved when it’s all over in a confusing jumble.

It seems I missed a bet on re-casting Kirk

Via I Am A Demographic Anomaly


My husband David and I are well on the way to fogeyhood: without consulting each other’s schedules, we made doctor’s appointments for the same day within 15 minutes. He’s up first, then me.

By way of illustration, I see the large-type Readers Digest has a relevant article.


As you can see the Readers Digest large type edition has an article about the Things Your Doctor Isnt Telling You.

Via Officially Middle-Aged


“He who is tired of London is tired of life. “

We’re not tired of London, and are already plotting a return trip. But it’s time to move on to the Cotswolds for five nights and we won’t miss our cramped little hotel room near Paddington.

On Sunday, I made good on my threat to attend services at St Johns-Hyde Park. Met the Rev. Margaret Legg, who presided while the Vicar preached. Very diverse, progressive people – they’re looking forward to the Blessing of the Horses Sep 21, where the vicar will don cope and split cassock and bless the cavalcade (I believe there is a pub visit as well). Terrific young female soloist, plus a young man who played classical guitar.

Before church David and I walked in Hyde Park, with all the dogwalkers and riders on horseback. We paid several appendages to eat breakfast at the nearby Hilton. After I returned we headed out and wasted a lot of time on the Original Bus tour on a boat to Greenwich; took too long and the museum was closing by the time we got done with lunch and then had a terrible time getting back on the tube.

Also encountered: an old gentleman feeding his squirrel friends in St James Park, and a polite young Peruvian bear named Paddington, who we met at the station as we were leaving London. We gave him a lift and he now lives in Mt Vernon, IL with our niece Melissa. She calls him “PB” and is always fussing over him.

Via Horsies and Squirrels and Bears Oh My!



The story on this image: David and I were doing something we rarely do – watching TV more or less “live”, and even more unusually, we were watching a network show and not bothering to zip through the commercials. This one came on for a product called Botox Cosmetic — with the tagline “it’s all about freedom of expression!” We had to pause the TiVo just to laugh. Apparently, the makers are quite proud of their product and address the troubling question of “Will I be able to make facial expressions after using Botox-Cosmetic?”

Yeah, right. Aaaaanyway.

My husband David said “there is something so wrong about a product ad that says “toxin.” I said “I thought botox gave you freedom FROM expressions.” As we looked at each other, we both made the same facial expression… the “I’m so blogging this” expression.
We both dove for a blogging appliance.

Via Botox: Freedom From Expression



I have to say, early on it was a thrill, because I got to vote for Barack Obama and Joe Biden in the Presidential race at last. At last! Great God almighty… well, two more weeks until we know for sure. But I decided it would probably be inappropriate to burst into tears, song, or both, so I sucked it up and kept on voting. I was happy to vote for Sen. Durbin, who’s kind of been on fire the last two years what with suddenly being one of the highest ranking majority members and being able to get a lot more bills through committee and passed than ever before. And I voted for Bean, who’s done all right and also benefited by becoming a majority-party U.S. Representative in her second term.

There was definitely electricity in the air, though, and we overheard the village hall guy say that on Friday and Saturday, the first days of early voting, there was a wait of 35 minutes, with people out the door waiting to vote. Earlier today, I was reading about how Utah’s doing early voting, and today was the last day to register. So in Salt Lake, they had so many people show up that they set up a drive-thru outdoors, with extra staff deputized to hand applications to drivers, who filled them out in their cars (or on their motorcycles) and handed them back. A number of people then were able to vote early. A TON of people have been registered in Utah; many of them are Republicans who never bothered voting for the last decade because in Utah it was either a waste of time (Clinton) or safely in the bag (Bush).

But there are a lot of Democrats in Salt Lake, and Salt Lake County. Also not a few in the Park City area; I think that’s Summit County. They might be electing a few down-ticket candidates, else why would Hillary Clinton bother to show up for a couple of fundraisers in that reddest of red states?

And we pretty much know how that turned out, thank GOD. Also, Salt Lake County went (barely) for Obama. The Democrats in Utah are feeling good.

Via V is for Voted


Palin fakes admirably and fails irrevocably, trying to not let on that she has absolutely no clue who the people are that “Sarkozy” is raving about. She doesn’t even drop to it when “M. le President” notes that he can see Belgium from his ass. Sarah laughs uncomfortably, perhaps not wishing to embarrass the gentleman over his poor command of English idioms. Too bad Palin’s never bothered to glance in the direction of Canada from her bathroom window, or bone up on the name of its premier.

UPDATE: Okay, he may have said “from his ‘ouse” in his strong Quebecois accent, but it sounded like “ass,” same as what he made of Palin.

You get the impression that Sarah is listening for those dog-whistle phrases to which she knows the answers. She knows enough about Sarkozy to gush about his beautiful wife and family. And finally she is told she’s been pranked by the Masked Avengers comedy radio duo from Quebec. The background discussion between Palin and at least two aides after she repeats aloud “Ohhhh, we’ve been pranked… what radio station?” is worth the toe-curling agony of listening to Palin. At the very beginning, she can’t even take the call with aplomb, starting to talk to the prankster who’s playing the part of the aide to the French President. She bobbles her greeting and then hands the phone back to her aide, saying “I always do that!” before getting back on and saying “Hel-LO” to the fake French leader just like she did to the “aide.”

Funny stuff. I doubt they’ll have much success with Obama’s people.

Good times, eh?

Via Daily Kos: Palin Pranked AAAAAH!!!! SO FULL OF WIN


We went to the holiday party last night for David’s office. In recent years, it’s been an enjoyable enough affair, especially after they stopped booking the DJ nobody liked… but the experience we had was somewhat beyond our wildest expectations of a nice evening.

Meson Sabika was the setting, a large mansion in Naperville, which is one of the few Chicago suburbs with a sense of its own history. First settled in 1811, it’s set in gently rolling country, with a vibrant and architecturally appealing downtown, with public space and art everywhere. We drove down after work, and I was in my typically grumpy “I HATE GETTING DRESSED UP” frame of mind on the way. All that changed as soon as we walked in the door.

Via Meson Sabika Flamenco Holiday Party

Salt Lake Dance Church:

Via Mad Priest: Of course, I could be wrong…: we have these in England
– we call them discos

Jill Jeppesen sways and swirls her body in the dim light of the open room, inspiring dozens of other dancers to dance their prayers. With her husband, Michael, she started Dance Church in May and have been hosting dances in Sugar House and Midvale.

Dance church is non-denominational, and welcomes participants from all walks of life to participate in a unique experience. Michael Jeppesen acts as DJ and played a wide variety of music ranging from tribal drums to Nelly, even “Scarborough Fair.” Each song on his play list is rated according to “mojo” and no song is played twice in the same month. He says he spends approximately 20 hours in preparation for two hours of dancing. Each dance is considered a “wave.” It starts out calm to allow participants to ease into the rhythms and melodies, and then continues to grow increasingly more vibrant, reaching a climax, until finally relaxing down.

That sounds rather risque, but then I remembered it’s the Trib, and they’re into the cutesy naively naughty tone for “light” news. Especially when it’s some kind of “Other Church’s” quaint customs.

Remember! It’s not about getting bums in the pews, it’s about getting your ass on the dance floor. For God!

File This Under Oy Vey

Sen. Hatch may become senior Republican in Congress – Salt Lake Tribune
WASHINGTON – The Senate’s most senior Republican was recently convicted of a felony corruption and may be forced out. The second most senior Republican could land a Cabinet spot under President Obama.
Waiting in the wings of GOP seniority: Sen. Orrin Hatch, a Utah Republican first elected in 1976.

The Annual Rite: Provo Pervs

Provo police on alert for peeping Toms – Salt Lake Tribune

Apparently BYU, the college of the Utah faithful, suffers a plague of pervos every fall when students return, move into housing or apartments, and don’t know enough to close the curtains. Peeping toms are a perennial problem in prissy Provo. Best comment from the Trib website: “Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers.”