Authorities told CLTV a couple in their 40s had been drinking and were sitting in the front living room of the house when they allegedly decided to light a commercial firework they had obtained and possessed illegally.

The couple then allegedly could not figure out how to extinguish the fuse, CLTV reported. The device exploded, damaging the house and setting it on fire. Neighbors heard the blast, called 911 and rushed to the scene.

…

Carmen Morales, spokesman for Nicor, said the house did not have natural gas service at the time of the explosion. Eichelberger said the dwelling’s electrical meter was locked, meaning there was no electricity to the home. Lights were on, however, in an attached garage.

A for-rent sign was posted in the yard.

Okay. We got us some not-very-bright people sitting on the porch with no utilities, in a house that’s going to be rented out from under them, and they think it’s a good idea to light off something explody that they shouldn’t have had. Frankly, this is behavior you’d expect from crack-addled monkeys or speed freaks, not people old enough to know better.

And, it sounds exactly like the kind of thing a former cow-orker used to do, right down to sitting on the porch of a rented house they were about to be evicted from and thinking up stupid ways to get back at the landlord that had cut off their utilities.

So if it’s not my former cow-orker, who used to entertain us a few years back with lurid tales of bizarre hijinks involving alcohol, illegal drugs, and encounters with local law enforcement, she’s got a soulmate in the southwest suburbs.