… or find yourself drunk, high, half nekkid, and screaming at people in Sugar House Park. The latter path is the one I’d have taken if I’d stayed on in Salt Lake instead of moving away.

Absence of pants nets charges for man in Sugar House Park – Salt Lake Tribune

Court documents accuse the 36-year-old of hiding in the park and jumping out and scaring women and bicyclists. At one point, the documents say, he stood in a roadway, pulled down his shorts and began screaming at cars while naked from the waist down. Police arrived to find him smelling of alcohol and carrying 1 gram of marijuana.